what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
