How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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