So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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