how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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