Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
