He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
