there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
