people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
