You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
