But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you would pick up someone in the library
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
