doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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