I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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