Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
