I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
