we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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