Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Jerry, you need to find god
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
