Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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