Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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