Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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