do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
