I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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