Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
