the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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