carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
