she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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