Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
