Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
