This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
