im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
