i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize