Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
