Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
