She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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