Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
