I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I looked at my own cervix.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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