you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
