Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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