dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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