No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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