don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
