Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
