This is not my ceiling
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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