YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
