oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
