how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize