He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
