She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize