Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
