Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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