ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize