the condom got lost in my hair
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
