I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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