I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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