I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
