There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
