You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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