i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
